Recently, I was coaching a leader who shared how overwhelmed she felt—not just at home but also at work. Between managing projects, supporting her team, handling details nobody else noticed, and still showing up for family responsibilities, the mental load was exhausting her. ‘I feel like I’m on 24/7, constantly juggling tasks,’ she confided. This experience is more common than we think, but the good news? We can learn to share the load—at home and work.
Why Sharing the Load Matters—Everywhere
Mental load often includes those “invisible tasks” that don’t appear in job descriptions but are essential to keeping things running. They might look like organizing team check-ins, remembering birthdays, or making sure work projects flow smoothly. In both personal and professional spaces, the unshared mental load can lead to stress, exhaustion, and eventually, burnout.
Let’s explore practical ways to share responsibilities at work and at home, build mutual understanding, and prevent overload.
Have open conversations about needs, both at home and work At home, this may mean talking about chores or caregiving. At work, it could mean discussing responsibilities that fall between the lines. Make it a habit to communicate openly about what each person needs to feel balanced and respected.
Practice empathy by considering each other’s unseen burdens Just as we might try to understand a partner’s workload, it’s vital to recognize the invisible tasks colleagues manage. Maybe they’re handling team morale or absorbing additional duties. By acknowledging this, you create a foundation of respect and shared understanding.
Listen without defensiveness In both realms, defensive reactions shut down growth opportunities. Listen to understand, and you’ll likely find ways to make things smoother for everyone.
Acknowledge everyone’s contributions Whether it’s a partner at home or a teammate, recognizing others’ efforts reinforces a culture of appreciation. A quick “thank you for handling that” goes a long way in strengthening mutual support.s.
Hold regular check-ins, both in your home and team spaces Scheduling consistent family and team check-ins helps track progress and realign responsibilities. A five-minute weekly work meeting or a Sunday family planning session can keep things running smoothly.
Discuss task preferences, but stay flexible Whether discussing home tasks or work projects, establish preferences, but be open to different approaches. Flexibility builds resilience and trust.
Balance caregiving and workload fairly in both environments If one person at home is the primary caregiver or if a team member is covering extra duties, share responsibilities equitably during off-hours or lighter seasons.
Set realistic expectations Just like not every home task can be split 50-50, fairness at work may look different for each team member. The key is that each person feels supported and valued.
Don’ts: Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Don’t assume others know how you’re feeling Both at home and work, share your thoughts and stresses openly. Often, others aren’t aware of the weight we carry until we tell them.
Use dismissive language Referring to someone’s concerns as “nagging” or “overreacting” (whether a partner or colleague) minimizes their efforts and contributions. Approach their reminders as part of shared progress.
Be defensive and avoid guilt-tripping In both spaces, guilt-tripping or defensiveness builds resentment. Responding with understanding opens the door to collaboration and growth.
Be guilty of skipping tasks because someone else is “better” at them Just because a partner or colleague may be efficient doesn’t mean they should always handle certain tasks alone. Engage actively to build shared responsibility.
Don’t expect everything to be done “your way” Flexibility is more important than perfection. The goal is shared responsibility, not rigid standards.
Whether at home or work, sharing the mental load promotes connection, mutual respect, and well-being. When we consciously divide tasks and acknowledge each other’s efforts, we set a precedent for a supportive and balanced environment.
Try This Today:
Pick one “Do” and one “Don’t” to focus on this week. Notice how these small shifts help create a more collaborative, balanced environment in your personal and professional spaces.
Balancing our mental load at home and work takes intentionality. Start with one small change and see how it shifts the dynamic.
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